Thursday, May 14, 2015

New Life Ceremony, for the end of a marriage

Some of the things that come to mind when we hear of a friends marriage coming to an end are, first, extreme sadness, followed closely by questions like: Which spouse will I be able to remain friends with? How is my social circle going to change? How will their children get through this?

I'm here to tell you that it doesn't need to be this way. The ending of a marriage can be dignified and it should be. 

The following is a New Life Ceremony that I officiated for my dear friends today.

New Life Ceremony
Welcome. Thank you all for coming.

I would like to begin our New Life ceremony with this verse from the Course in Miracles:

“When you come to the place where the branch in the road is quite apparent, you cannot go ahead. You must go either one way or the other. For now if you go straight ahead, the way you went before you reached the branch, you will go nowhere. The whole purpose of coming this far was to decide which branch you will take now. The way you came no longer matters. It can no longer serve. No one who reaches this far can make the wrong decision, although he can delay. And there is no part of the journey that seems more hopeless and futile than standing where the road branches, and not deciding on which way to go. It is but the first few steps along the right way that seem hard, for you have chosen, although you still may think you can go back and make the other choice. This is not so. A choice made with the power of Heaven to uphold it cannot be undone. Your way is decided. There will be nothing you will not be told, if you acknowledge this.”

This ceremony will officially end the marriage between Susan and Randy Barnes.
In life we know that there are ups and downs, and we seek relationships to help guide us through these joys and pains. Marriage is one such relationship. It offers us the freedom to be our full, true selves, while providing a structure that society deems proper. In short; being married can make life easier.

However, there comes a time in each relationship when we must take a step back and ask ourselves the hard question: Is this still working?
Every year we must renew our car insurance, and evaluate the benefits of one company over another. We change doctors, religious affiliations, and even switch from Pepsi to Coke. We make new choices all the time, and we say it’s because life is short, so we want to fit in as much as we can.

Well, life is NOT short, and when we see ourselves as the infinite, eternal beings that we truly are, institutions like marriage, can seem like a strange idea. When the usefulness of a product has reached its limit, we won’t keep investing in it, do we? We don’t continue to pay the mortgage once the house is paid off, right? Neither should we continue to ‘invest’ in relationships that have reached a peak in potential.

We have all lived many lifetimes as both men and women, and we have had an infinite number of relationships, and every relationship we have is a lesson for our spirit. A learning experience.

Susan and Randy have spent 30 years together, learning and growing by sharing their unique gifts with each other. They have grown spiritually, as they have lead many groups over the years along the path to enlightenment. They have grown as parents, as they have shared in the raising of Elora, and they have grown in their practice, and as anyone who has ever been on their table can tell you, they make a very good team. You might even say, “A dream team”.

The spirit of this ceremony is to acknowledge all that they have built together, and to likewise acknowledge that, although the marriage portion of their relationship has concluded, they will still be a team. They will still learn and grow together as they continue to raise their little girl, and as they continue to bring their healing prowess to all of us.

This is a time of celebration! We are witnessing the spiritual maturity that can only come from lifetime after lifetime of dedication to spiritual growth. After 30 years of marriage, Susan and Randy have built a relationship together that will not end today, but rather, it will now be known as something even deeper, and more mature. They will be keeping all of the good that came from their union, and leaving behind anything that was not. They will continue to have love and respect for one another, because that is simply who they are. Let them be a lesson to us all.

According to the teachings of Ho’oponopono, and just about every other system of well-being, you are responsible for everything that you experience.  Everything you see, think, notice, hear and feel is a creation of your own mind.  All your reactions and interpretations are of your making, based on memories from the past, rather than inflicted upon you by another. Dr. Hew Len teaches us that the four phrases of Ho’ohponopono can heal; mind, body and spirit.

Please repeat after me, the four phrases of Ho’oponopono to each other, together:
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”

At this point I would like to read this relevant passage from the Course in Miracles:

“I give you to the Holy Spirit as part of myself
I know you will be released unless I want to use you to imprison myself
In the name of my freedom I choose your release, because I recognize that we will be released together.”

Let us luxuriate in God's Presence and allow the Great Spirit to map out the coming day and beyond.  When it is time, I step forth renewed and restored, in grateful acceptance.  Thank you, Nameless One, for your blessing upon our lives.
Susan and Randy, I now pronounce you individuals. Lovely, strong, powerful individuals. May the transition into this new chapter of your lives be a blessing to every life you touch.


Thank you for reading this. I hope it has touched you and changed your ideas about the transitions we all must go through <3